What is EMDR, and Does it Really Involve Moving Your Eyes Back-and-Forth?
Let’s get the “weird” part out of the way first: yes, EMDT sometimes involves moving your eyes back and forth (or tapping, or little buzzers you hold in each hand. We have options.) This is called bilateral stimulation. Sometimes it may be tracking a ball moving back and forth across a screen in virtual therapy, sometimes it’s watching your therapist’s fingers move back and forth, and other times it may be watching a light on a bar move. You and your therapist can decide what is the right fit for you. I promise it’s not as strange as it sounds, even though the first time someone explains it to you, you will probably think, “Wait, what?”
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which is a lot of syllables for something that, at its core, is pretty simple. It helps your brain finish processing something it got stuck on.
Here’s the metaphor that I like best.
Think of your memory like a filing system. Most experiences get filed away properly, meaning that you can think about them without your whole body reacting like that experience is happening right now. But some experiences, especially distressing or overwhelming ones, don’t get filed correctly. They stay sort of “open.” Think of loose papers on the floor of your brain, instead of tucked neatly into a categorical folder.
That’s why a memory from ten years ago can still make your heart race like it’s still brand new. Your nervous system never got the memo that the event is over.
EMDR helps your brain do the filing it didn’t get to do the first time by using bilateral stimulation (eye movement, tapping, buzzers) to help both sides of your brain talk to each other while we gently process the memory. You are not reliving over and over in vivid detail. You are helping your brain do what it was already trying to do, just become unstuck. Think of it like a road trip or train ride where you are noticing the scenery.
What it’s actually like in session
You are not hooked up to anything scary. You are not hypnotized. You are fully present, fully in control, and can stop at any point. We start slow by building safety and some coping tools before we ever touch anything difficult. Then we work through specific memories using the eye movements (or tapping, or buzzers - whichever you prefer) while I check in with you regularly. The fascinating thing is that your brain is already familiar with this eye movement through our sleep cycles - REM sleep.
Most people describe it as strange at first, and then surprisingly not a big deal. A lot of my clients are shocked at how much lighter something feels after a few sessions. Something that may have felt unbearable to even think about before therapy started.
Who EMDR tends to help
Trauma (PTSD, single-incident, or multiple/on-going trauma)
Anxiety that feels bigger than the situation warrants
Chronic stress that’s left your nervous system stuck in fifth gear
Caregiver burnout, especially when it’s tangled up with grief or guilt
Old experiences that still hijack your reactions today, even though logically you know better
If your brain has ever done that thing where you know a reaction doesn’t match the situation but you can’t seem to talk yourself out of it. That’s usually a sign that something is unprocessed, not a personal failure. EMDR is one of the most effective ways I know to actually resolve that, instead of just managing it. (And there is a TON of research to support this. Just check out the EMDRIA website.)
I am EMDR trained and working toward full certification. It is quickly becoming one of my favorite tools to use with clients navigating trauma, anxiety, and the kind of stress that just won’t quit.
Curious if this is a good fit? Let’s chat!
With care,
Kim
